Review of Pink Visual’s iTouchHer Web Apps

alison hart — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 23:33:50 +0000

Pink Visual has been trying to find a way to capitalize on the popularity iPhones for a while now. First it was 3-D porn, then they made a movie entirely on an iPhone. Now they’ve created a “web app” (aka, a website formatted to look like an app) called iTouchHer.

I do not have an iPhone. Rather, I own the G1 (Google phone) pictured to the left. But because this site is available on the web, anyone with a touch-sensitive smart phone or a computer can play these games.

There are eight games on ITouchHer.com and I played them on the phone to get a feel for the games as close to the way they’re meant to be experienced as possible.

Intro
Before you start playing games on iTouchHer (but after you’ve already chosen which game you want to play), you’re shown an instruction screen followed by a confusing screen that tells you that you need to tap on different parts of a picture of a woman (her erogenous zones) to start. It doesn’t matter one bit which you choose and you’re never shown the woman again.

Nude Photo Hunt
The nude photo hunt shows you two hardcore pictures with one minor difference between them. You’re supposed to tap on the part of the photo that’s different from the other. Pretty simple.

The game itself is relatively challenging and actually funny at one point. There are ten pictures and when you complete the game, you have the option to a short clip from one of Pink Visual’s squirting movies. The movie’s there whether you win or lose, so don’t worry too much if you get some wrong.

Tranny Hunter
This game is very similar to the Female or Shemale? quizzes I made for the VideoBox blog last week. This one shows you an explicit picture of the woman or tranny in question after you make your choice between TRANNY and NOT. Which I guess is cool if you like trannies. Perhaps not so much if you don’t because you’ll definitely see some ladycock.

Like Nude Photo Hunt, there are 10 pictures and game is definitely not a gimme – I only scored 6/10. I’m pretty sure the only reason I did that well was that I knew who a couple of the non-trans ladies were. The reward video is from Absolute Gonzo.

WWDC Quiz
WWDC stands for Worldwide Developer’s Conference, which it may been designed for. The “game” itself is just a quiz about Apple history. When you get an answer right, you see a woman in various states of undress. When you get the answer wrong, you are “tormented by Vista advertising collateral.”

I only managed to get 6/10 correct on this quiz, but it deemed me an “Apple Fanboy” anyway. And for my trouble, I was presented with a video of hot lezbo action.

In order to get to the rest of the games, you click the right arrow button at the bottom of the screen. This isn’t intuitive and might cause people to miss the other 5 games on the site.

Roast Beef or Twat?
Funny concept, kinda lame execution. In reality, it’s very easy to tell the difference between roast beef and pussy, even when they’re blurry. The video at the end is some kind of grandpa fucks a teen movie, so honestly, I’d skip it if I were you.

Transpotting
Exactly the same as Tranny Hunter with different images. Lesbian movie at the end.

3 Way Touch
This “game” is really a photo set with captions. After the first few pics, it tells you where you tap, but I wasn’t too into it. Another lesbian video at the end.

Lesbian Seduction
Another photo set. This one starts out with instructions and eventually becomes just pictures without captions. After a while, it just stopped without warning. Tapping on the picture ceased to cause anything to happen. I had to click the home button at the bottom to get back to the main menu. Needless to say, there was no video.

Squirter Adventure
Another photo set with instructions. Much shorter than the last two. The photos featured Sophie Dee as did the video at the end.

Overall
All in all, the photo hunt and the tranny games were the most entertaining of the bunch. The photo sets may have been experiments with the concept of iTouchHer that they moved away from when it was obvious that they were no fun. Pink Visual says they’re designing tons more games for the site, so it may actually become a great portal for adult games and quizzes once they get a few more decent ones in there.

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Review of Pink Visual’s iTouchHer Web Apps